June 20th to 21st

here i am writing, between the turn of the day from June 20th to 21st.

so many things happened the latest days even in few hours before.

something i can't mention, happened.

not good news, not at all.

even it's not directly becomes my complication, but i can feel it from here.

knowing he's having an incredible hard time,

having no spirit at all about what will he do next,

even try to look tough whereas i know he's not as tough as he may seem.

i can't be there. 

i can't pat your shoulder to lift up a bit of your sorrow,

i can't be next to you to accompany you through your hardest time,

i can't be the one to hear about everything you wanted to tell.

hmmmm.

i know you're not as stiff as what you looked from outside,

but i believe you're more than strong to carry on your tears! :)

pkoknya, i am here.

anytime you want me to be next to you,

just call me :)

hard to admit, but i am missing you from here.

almost seven months in the same dorm,

i can really really feel your absence.

missing the annoying sound from your bike every single night (which means you're finally home),

your appearance from upstairs when you almost get to work,

your presence when i'm busy with my laundry, and so on.

terasa sepi ya ga ada dirimu disini.

previously, i could see your motorbike straight to my door.

but i can't see it now cause you're no longer here.

knowing you're still here is a bit relieving than knowing there's no more you.

kangen. hahahaha.

missing someone whom i shouldn't miss (literally forbidden) is a total confusion.

kangen, tapi ga boleh.

kangen, tapi ga bisa bilang.

kangen, cuma bisa disimpen sendiri.

kangen, padahal udah tau salah dan seharusnya ga dipikirin.

kangen, tapi cuma bisa nulis disini dan memeluk jaket ini :')

hello you there.

i know it's a fool for falling deeper to you, which it's not a matter for you.

but i only could wish, 

this feeling will vanish soon.

and you there,

be strong and always be a tough man as i saw first.

you'll get through it and you'll figure out what Jesus' biggest plan in your life.

i am here 24/7 so just call me everytime you need me.

God bless you :)