i dont feel well for these two days.
and here i am lying on my bed in my working hour, cause my body cant cooperate.
my head feels extremely painful and getting worse day by day.
the moment when i have my rest hour, but still i cant sleep well.
tired. extremely tired
besok mau trip tapi badan bawaannya ga enak dan pengen rebahan aja.
whether it's my body, or my soul also feels exhausted for what i've been through lately.
mau tidur tapi ga bisa.
waktu udah bisa tidur eh malah cuma sebentar.
like last night, aku tidur jam 2 pagi eh kirain udh jam 7 bangunnya ternyata jam 4.30.
dan kaya tadi, kirain tidur udh berjamjam ternyata sejampun engga.
i know i'm lack or rest.
tapi rasanya bukan cuma badan ini yg ingin istirahat, my mind and my soul either.
rasanya kosong, hampa, like no one cares.
like everyone always having at least one reason to hurt me.
like everyone enjoy the thing for hurting me.
entahlah....
anw, tadi ga sengaja waktu liat explore dan ngeliat postingan senior aku.
senior aku yg satu kantor sama dia.
ya, dia.
the one i almost always mentioned in this blog.
the training term already done.
and he's finally graduated.
not like his college graduation, i'm no longer his in this celebration.
he already has someone new for standing beside him.
i dont know how to describe my situation right now.
while i'm having problem with my health, there comes again something which always been the reason i shattered.
i'm the one who bring you there, but then i'm the one who been left.
same as the previous story.
the one who always giving my best to support, turn to be the one who being left.
:)
a year.
ga terasa udh berlalu ya setahun itu.
setahun lalu kamu masih penerimaan calon staff, dan skrg udh graduate.
you finally did it! :)
i know you can nail it, but you made the process as the reason you left me.
i dont wanna know whether you're trying that hard or no, the thing is i can't take you back as mine.
atau lebih tepatnya, aku juga udah gamau lagi.
sedih nginget itu semua.
fool me. kirain udh biasa aja eh ternyata masih belum juga.
dulu bangganya luar biasa bisa nemenin kamu sampe di fase itu.
tapi setelah itu aku ga nyangka segampang itu kamu pergi dan sama orang lain disana.
i was so proud at that time, having you as my bf.
tapi yah gimana, im not the person who can always stand by your side.
tahun lalu aku masih nunggu kamu selesai acara tapi sekarang aku taunya karena liat postingan ig orang.
totally different huh? :")
im wondering, kenapa aku selalu ditinggalin?
whats my fault?
dont you ever think about how hard i tried to push you forward, for supporting you when you felt so low, and always be there for you in every single situation you faced?
never in a second, i ever thought bout leaving you.
and so i thought you too.
tapi ya apa mau dibilang semua udah selesai kok.
semenjak setahun lalu :)
congratulation for you, S! :)
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